We all live in a Yellow Submarine

So, last night I took Judith out for dinner to Planet Sub. If anyone reading this lives by me, you must make your little way to this college campus treat. I had the "Super Hero"...yum! All of their bread is baked fresh from scratch every morning! Scrumptious wheat bread that is then piled with meat on the top, then cheese, and all of the veggies after it's been baked in their ovens. Let me tell you, this is the way to eat a sub sandwich. Subway has nothing on their technique...This is what my sub has on it, (-the onions, + black olives and yellow mustard)

SUPER HERO:
Salami, Pepperoni, Spicy Capicola, Provolone, Onions,
Lettuce, Banana Peppers, Oil & Vinegar

After gorging on the sub, we headed over to Walmart, where I bought a combo movie pack of Benny and Joon (woot woot) and Edward Scissorshands and other of lifes little necessities. I took Judith back to the home and spent the rest of the night doing minute, meaningless things! What a great night.

I'm going to buy a laptop! Wahoo, I'm so excited. I've finally saved and scraped enough to buy one, and will be doing so as soon as my check is deposited. I'm so excited! *claps hands giddily*

I had a great "convo" last night, but I'll post about it later today.

Juice sucking vacuum

Do I put myself in a creative juice sucking vacuum? I believe
I am a bit backwards, skewed, or whatever you wanna
call it.
My life consists of a computer and a desk for half the day,
eating boring food (for the most part) and then going out
to try to escape the insane and overpowering nothingness of home
or
staying at the afore mentioned home bored witless, so then I sleep.
And sleep some more.

Why do I not create? Why is every waking moment spent in duldrums
when it could be used to paint, sculpt, love, explore, move, and believe.
Maybe that part of me is dying...yet I feel its fierce teeth sinking in
to my heart. I yearn to have a place I can go to
where it is a complete mess and beauty abounds
amidst the crap.

I want a studio or place to throw all of my stuff in plain sight so
that I will remember that I can use it.
What are crayons, paints, paper, yarn, pens, wire, cloth, and so on
good for if I never use them?
It's a great way to clutter a room, but that's not what I paid
good money for. I want art.
Plain and simple.

Art
is not just
something that I
want to do.
It's something that
I want to consume me.

Wouldn't that be beautiful?

Invisible Children

Check this out people.

www.invisiblechildren.com

It is one mini land.

هو عالم صغيرة
C'est un petit monde
Es ist eine kleine Welt
작은 세계이다
Het is een kleine wereld
Det är en liten värld
それは小さい世界である
Es un mundo pequeño
它是一個小世界
È un piccolo mondo
É um mundo pequeno
Είναι ένας μικρός κόσμος

It's a small world.

'nuff said.

nomanisanisland

Wouldn't it be interesting if we were though? no societal pressures to be someone you're not. no disappointment in anyone but yourself....although looking at it that way, i have more that enough disappointment for just me, not to mention the world.

how does an island feel?
Does it even feel lonely? Has it ever felt the warmth of touching other land?
Does it long for the embrace of it's long lost continent?

Or is it blissfully unaware of the struggles far away?
does it go about it's days happy to just be itself?

sometimes i would like to be an island.

God loves sinners.

Think about it. God lets each and every one of us be birthed into a world that we start off marred and full of sin. Loves us from the beginning. All of our lives, His love for us never grows or ebbs. Always full, no matter what we do. So, when God decided to kill entire people groups of old...did He kill out of love? He is love, so all He does must be love. Turning a woman into a pillar of salt is love. Wiping out a dictator: love. Flooding the earth: love.

How can we understand this love? Is this how we are supposed to be like God? Can we ever fully know what it is that we need to be?

Why does He work like this?

Fractured 5th Phalange

I broke my toe. Yup, sure did. My left pinky toe is out of commission for the next couple of weeks. No running, and wait, you haven't heard the best part....I GET TO WEAR A BOOT! Oh yeah, I'm hobbling in style! I even got to use the cool motorized cart at Walmart last night. Noisy and very slow, but it got you where you were going. Actually, it was pretty funny sight. Kayla pointed out that people probably thought that I had cancer because I had a bandana on my head. That made me laugh. I do think that people were offended that someone my age was in a motored cart, though. Most looks were similar to " What the heck do you think you're doing in a scooter....YOU'RE not OLD!" I was glad to get out of there.

*Also*

In lighter news....I've bought myself a friend. A furry, naked-tailed rat. Yessirree, a rat. Named it Moe. ( it has a mohawk) Not sure if it's a boy or a girl, but I figure the name fits either. c'mon, I wasn't gonna name it pat. It's body is white and it's head is grey/black. I'll post pictures of it when my mom mails me my camera from home. Left it behind. woops.
Anywho, I feel I will be crafty tonight. We'll see. peath

How do I?

Silence is Something you can't Hide

True statement. You have to go to the root of what silence is. I don't think many people, myself included, really understand silence.

1.absence of any sound or noise; stillness.

2.the state or fact of being silent; muteness.

3.absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern: the conspicuous silence of our newspapers on local graft.

4.the state of being forgotten; oblivion: in the news again after years of silence.

5.concealment; secrecy.

The kind of silence I'm talking about is #1. Stillness. Have you ever truly been in a silent place? Where it is completely without sound or motion? Absolutely still? Think of places we commonly believe are silent...

Woods...morgue...deaf school...(just kidding on the last one!) Continue to think of those places. Now really, if you think about it, they aren't very silent. Birds twirping, airconditioners humming. I don't know if I've ever experienced true silence. What a wicked concept. Silence is deafening...I don't think I could handle it.

Silence is something you can't hide.

roasted nuts

I think that it's the small things in life that make all of the differences. Like walking through the mall and being offered a free warm sample of roasted nuts. Why does that perk up someone's day? I don't know....probably because it is unexpected. The butterfly effect. Kind of. One small gesture can create a world of change. So simple, but agonizingly hard to conquer this principle. word.

skin

how deep is your skin? Do you think of your skin as being deep? Does it ever freak you out to think that you have a wrapper? That you change your wrapper daily? (hopefully) Are we all about the packaging or what's inside? Do you buy things because of what they look like or what they taste like? Would you know the difference between Kraft and Great Value? Me personally, I like GV a heck of a lot better, less gooky. I am flabbergasted by people that are "labelholics." Instead of saving money, they must buy what is marketed as "the best" to make themselves feel better. Do we just do that with food or clothes, or do we do that with everything. How about friends. To steal from "About a girl" do we tend to gravitate towards those who make us feel warm and fuzzy and good? Do we ever go for the off brand or generic friend who might just be a little more straightforward with us? And if so, will we still judge them? I think I still do. Do you judge yourself by your wrapper? Is it what defines you? That distinguishing touch. What if we accepted our generality, and forget about the packaging. What makes us all the same? Do we even know?

so, what do all of these have in common. Don't be afraid to answer.

Righteous Indignation

So I have an angry and hurt friend.

She has a cause.

A very worthy and beautiful cause.

Babies...and the right for them to live.

There's a Walk for Life in October that she is wanting to promote, and the place where we work is not allowing us to promote this honorable cause. What is the deal?

Where is the love? Honestly. gimme a break

gypsy dandelion

i am a gypsy dandelion.

simply misunderstood
quietly, humbly just a weed
oh but how i know i'm need..
..ed of the world.

how dare you rip me from my roots
to beautify your hair
you know that i am not as
strong as you
i'm a flower born to fly upon the wind
not doomed to die at your whim
just let me be
and let me seed
and i'll fly away from here
right up away from here
to spread my gypsy gospel
that everybody needs

Post-It comics

Amy, this one's for you. Laugh...it does a body good. Can't wait for your butt to get down here. I'm bored. You've got to come over to the apartment and enjoy yourself...Do you realize you are going to be the Queen Bee of the MC house? Whoa

We have learned to whittle the Eden Tree to the shape of a surplice peg, We have learned to bottle our parent twain in the yelk of an addled egg. We know that the tail must wag the dog, for the horse is drawn by the cart, But the devil never whoops, as he of old; It's clever, but is it art?

Author: Rudyard KiplingSource: The Conundrum of the Workshops

wandering star *

Just take a little breather and look...just look into this fun picture.

I HATE sunSHINE! i hate it i hate it i HATE sunshine!


laughs insanely, cackles, coughs, .....moving on...
i need to go out and get this movie. i bought the dead poets' society the other day. i'm quite excited to watch it as soon as i get my apartment settled. yes to all, i have an apartment! i moved in last night. i even went out and got toilet paper and cleaning supplies to celebrate. life is good in the crib. my complex even has a pool! woohoo! it has high ceilings and a FIREPLACE! who ever knew i would have a fireplace? i'm excited to take pictures and send them to my mom. i want to have an "apartment warming" party, but i'm close to poor. maybe i'll do more like potluck. what fun! i'm acting like an A-dult. it's so nice to have a place to go home to that isn't someone else owned. i can do what i want or don't want. it makes me want to be that much more responsible. i can't wait to get my car running. i'll be able to get to and from work without anyone else! i think i might cry at the concept of being somewhat stable. i want to be out of this country in less than two years, though, so the stability will be short-lived, but that's ok. if even for a brief respite from the insanity of instability. talking to Liz the other night made me realize that i have craved stability all of my life, yet at the same time i am terrified of the prospect. i long to be different, special, needed, and the only way i've ever felt that way is when i've completely destroyed my own life to give others what they wanted. SACRIFICE. it fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. winners. martyrs. who can stop them........ they walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. liz is my new neatest friend. i hope we stay friends for some time. she's from maryland...Bwaston. psych major. really nice and funny and doesn't expect anything from me. ahhh the land of friendship...what a great place to be...loved for who you are...not who you want to be.

Sisyphus

sometimes, my brain feels like this. a million different images crying out for attention from a viewer who can only make so much out of so much. lots of different me's running around with many different thoughts on how the world should be, could be, or can be. i frolick, i'm clumsy, there's the femenine me who loves being girly.(believe it or not) the me that wants to be strong above all else. there's the me that loves shiny, twirling things. multitasking me, the me that wishes to just fly away. speed racer and break dancer. country me and city me. how in the world does God expect me to keep all of the me's straight and know who i am, much less who He is? i can't hardly get a grip on what i want to do when i grow up, yet i'm supposed to understand the workings of the mind and heart of the creator of all things. He made the universe and detailed the craftsmanship of the finest grain of sand, yet i'm supposed to know Him? calls every star by name and knows not just every hair on my head, i'm sure, but every spot freckle and mole on my body. parts a sea as if it were a puddle, stop the sun in midair. keeps the tide constant every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year for ever. i'm supposed to hold His hand? i'm supposed to call on His name? what is His name? who are You? what do You want? how can i help you? is there anything that i could possibly do to help you out? seems pretty hopeless. but there's a part of me that knows there's more. it knows that eventually in this world, not everything sucks. why is life so hard? i feel like Sisyphus from Greek mythology who was sentenced to a life of trying to roll a boulder to the top of a mountain, and just when he was about there, the boulder got away from him and rolled thundering back down the mountain. when will my boulder stay? are we all sentenced in this life to roll our confounded boulders up our lonely mountains, only to have the dumb rock roll back down? maybe. i know that there is one who's rock is firmly planted...i intend to be on His team when the time comes for me to show my progress. i feel like a middle school loser. i wanna be on HIS team! ......but i do.

ugly llama face...

you know you wake up looking like this some mornings. i know i do. freak.

if only life were easy. i wonder how we would cope. would we be less stressed, or would the lack of stress cause more anxiety for those of us used to so much stuff going on? we would have no great battles to fight, or causes to rally behind. what would we put our minds to. i'm almost completely certain that world peace would destroy the human race as we know it. everyone would die of boredom. think about it...no more news or newscasters, who would want to know that there's nothing going on? there would be no need for anything. all would cease to matter. the only thing left to talk about would be the weather. now there's a shift for you. instead of the newscasters being the big shots, they get left in the gloating dust of the infamous weather man or woman. IRONY! i love it. so there you have it. every weather man and woman out there should be gunning for world peace....oh, that sentence holds so many punny things it's just not right. ha! see this llama here. next leader of the free world.

i've been having many conversations lately about reality tv shows. my personal pick would have to be the amazing race. any game that takes you all around the world is a winner to me. even if i only made it half way through, my life would be so interesting. the only problem...finding someone to do it with that would NEVER quit. ever. i hate it when people quit. hate it. especially in games. ooooh. bad. it would be interesting.

Anyway...other matters. wouldn't it be funny if God decided to interupt our speech with random phrases? i would love talk and have movie quotes interspersed throughout. we would all learn to be better decipherers. yes...decipherers. my new word. i want to be creative. creativity is something that teases me like hanging a steak in front of a dog tied up to his little house. i can smell it, see it, yet tasting it is so elusive. i know what i would love to do, yet my mind will not let me be free to create it. woe is me. woe.

Art is long, and time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still like muffled drums are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
Author: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

i want to watch the dead poets society. must buy that movie. hark...what is this sound that rises from the ground? oh, 'tis only a mouse running about his mousey world, oblivious to the giant genious spanning the sky above. are we more like mice or men?

you decide.